Narcissus a bit

So, first to what's going on. I'm painting a lot, and I'm finishing up watching the first batch of videos for the Columbus International Film+Video festival (for those who don't recall I'm one of the judges for the arts division this year). Some are really good and I think you'll really enjoy them, & some kinda make me want to die a little. Regardless I think once the festival rolls out it'll be worth checking out. More on that later.

Not much else going on. I'm just making art and getting ready for the Fort Hayes Alumni show deadline in August (hey do you like the logo? I did that). By the way, I will be going down to Fort Myers Florida in the middle next month briefly to visit family. Just a long weekend but it'll be good.

So here's a footnote for you. I used to take part in forums a lot more often than I do now, and when I did that I used to just write stuff. I wouldn't call it poetry, or stories, or... anything, but people after a time seemed to like it and I did get something out of it... sense of satisfaction I suppose. I've been thinking about getting back into doing that to help explore my creativity. I have a constant dialog in my head, and sometimes I think it's worth writing down, but then I don't. This kind of writing I admit is completely masturbatory, and self indulgent, doubly so because I know if I don't publicly post what I write I won't do it in the first place. It's narcissistic, I'll be the first to say so, but that won't and has never really stopped me. This need to share what I create is a big part of what makes me an artist I guess. Besides, I guess I got some stuff to say and too many people feel that way and don't. Since I know I can and will, I suppose I should. Why not, right?

Anyway, so I'm gonna occasionally post some of that crap here... because where else am I going to do it? Maybe later I'll take the stuff I like and make a book out of it with little illustrative comments or something. We will see.

So what I have right now is a kind of short story and a poem...

Williams Canyon

They giggled like doves together. She said ‘come to Williams Canyon with us tonight!’. I followed them both as they held hands before me, She with her impossible beauty and her internal damage, he with his rough leanness and his simple thoughts. I plodded slowly behind, watching them, listening. The small town we lived in fell away to a dirt road, and the rocks that would have been tan or red began to arc up on either side.

We come to a sign, “DO NOT ENTER” which we ignore as children do. What was left to is was a road long since abandoned, the memory of a creek, and the canyon walls climbing ever higher. We continued on, at times I lost sight of my guides. They were too busy with each other, trying to impress the other with stories or wry jokes, they seemed innocent, but so was I, and I knew it.

Eventually whatever road was left was gone, giving way to gravel and scrub oak. I picked my way through the rocks, slowly climbing till we reached the end. A waterfall trickled down to a small pool below us, and my friends slipped away to attend to the flirtations natural evolution for a moment. Leaving me to contemplate, I turned to see where I came from.

I have never seen a moon like this. She hung low in the sky, large yellow and full. Mountains framed her, the winking lights of Manitou decorated the dark base. I wanted to ask it everything, what was I supposed to be doing, why was I in this foreign place, what will happen next? There was no sign, no answer. Stars didn’t shoot across the sky, no animal revealed itself, it was just the scene before me and myself alone to contemplate it for that one brief moment in time.

The couple emerged dusty after beating against each other. We made our way home much as we came, but I felt like I had an answer no matter how undefined. All I could do is go forward, in the moment.

Surgery

A constant dissection running through my mind
Pulling you open with my mouth, teeth, tongue.
Flaying you, spreading you open.
Rendering you helpless.

Humility and shame will not protect you
Bodies clothe expression
Lay aside fear
This won’t hurt much, I promise.

After your assembly
When I have seen what I have recreated
I will whisper silently
Do it to me.

Here's something somewhat local to me, Roger Drawdy and the Firestarters performing Hallowed Ground (music starts at :25, -shrug-)

just working

Nothing very exciting to report right now. I've been working on my stuff, and trying to keep to keep drama down. The thumbnail is a rough draft for a painting I am working on. I think my scanner has been going buggy and is about to die because I should be getting better scans than that. Ah well. Technology joy.

A friend of mine and I went to the Cleveland Museum of Art yesterday. Heard much about it, and it was pretty sweet however it's still under construction so their full collection still isn't out. So yeah that was inspiring for me. Driving around Cleveland, you can tell it's a place that once had money, but half of everything is falling apart. You have this row of gorgeous churches in what was once a decent neighborhood next to a crappy looking McDonalds, and a Dollar General. Also there was much leaning of porches and sagging of roofs. Sign of the times I suppose.

Here is Porcupine Tree - Time Flies

In the still of the night.

These past couple weeks have been quiet, which is what I really needed after a month of running. I really need periods of quiet, so I can think, research and work. Research what? Whatever, doesn't matter what... it's whatever pops into my head. Could be about creation myths, or how to cook with sherry (I've been given two bottles of it, one for drinking and one for cooking... and I don't drink -that- much), or something related to current news or politics, or whatever. I like indulging myself in curiosities, I learn a lot and hence I have this vast weird pile of random info in my head of which you never know how it will come in useful.

So, it's time to get back to work.

For about a year now I've been working with digital imagery for prints. That got started because I was doing a round of interviews that were related to graphic design, and I needed to update that part of my portfolio. What it lead to was gilcee prints, and combining my drawing with textures and layers. It's interesting, this kind of work for me can be completed fast and gives some level of satisfaction. I'll continue with it, but it's more than time for me to get back into painting again.

I'm not as conceptual as many contemporary artists. I am an image and object maker. I want to make icons that can live in your home as well as in a gallery/temple/whatever. Something made by hand has more resonance and punch than any reproduction (and you have to see it in person, no digital photo of any art can match seeing it with your own eyes). The digital prints are good to work out ideas and get them across, and they can be more affordable to collectors. Nothing however to me can take the place of the one of a kind image.

So these next few weeks and months will be set for me to begin a new series. The painting detail is acrylic on canvas, just a thought really. It's a portrait of a gothy-punk girl, I'll post it in full when I update my website which will be soon. I'm going back to wood, and the size will be closer to 16 x 18 or 18 x 24. What the subject is you'll have to wait and see.

Ah well, here is Eumir Deodato, September 13